Disclaimer: We are not trying to bad mouth Australia. It seems like a completely lovely place to live.
Elon Musk and Amber Heard decided to call it quits on Monday after a year of dating. Though they claim the split was due to their busy schedules, we have to speculate whether or not that was just the tip of the iceberg.
Now, we all know the two took a trip to Australia back in the spring, which is when they decided to take their relationship public. There is a huge chance this could have been the leading cause of their eventual split.
Though a trip to Australia with your significant other sounds great in theory, it’s actually an awful, awful idea. Just like going to Ikea. It will destroy your relationship.
HEAR. US. OUT.
An Ikea trip with bae is one of the quickest ways to realize you seriously can’t stand them. For real, there has been research on this. And a trip to Australia is the vacation equivalent of spending an afternoon in the Swedish furniture store. Only it lasts so much longer. It will only end badly.
Don’t believe us?
Well for one thing, the flight is ridiculously long (from America at least). It’s anywhere from 14 to 16 hours from LA.
All that time in a tiny, uncomfortable space sitting next to the one you “love” will start to get old real fast. You’re going to get cranky and hungry and you’ll have to get up to pee like three times. The bickering is inevitable. Next thing you know, you’re in tears because babe just told you that they would’ve rather gone to Disney like you guys do every year. So rude.
But then you land and you think “Ok, time to enjoy our trip!” Wrong. The time change has completely messed with you both and now you’re too tired to do anything.
Oh yeah, and traveling for that long cannot be good for your bowels. Yet another thing to take out on your loved one.
And then one of you is going to freakout the entire time about Australia’s venomous spiders and the other person will say, “You’re being ridiculous.” Leading you both to realize how different you really are when it comes to important issues.
Add in the fact that everything is more expensive in Australia and suddenly you’re getting into a heated debate over long-term financial decisions.
And THENNNNN, you have to do the whole 14 to 16 hour plane ride ALL OVER AGAIN. Only this time, you don’t have some fancy destination at the end of it, you have boring ol’ home.
Why did we do this? Where did it all go wrong?
Oh yeah, when you naively boarded that plane with love in your hearts and smiles on your faces.
Now, which one of you is going to get that white six-door dresser that took three hours to put up?
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